For some reason, writing this feels more surreal than any of the previous ones.

Seriously? It’s been nine weeks? Why does that hit harder than eight or seven or six? Could it be that it’s simply a higher number? Or that we’re teetering on the brink of double digits? 

Maybe it’s that I don’t remember how it feels to browse through my channel guide and find a game -- any game -- and turn it on. The things I would give right now to watch something as random as Royals vs. Rangers or Knicks vs. Kings once seemed unimaginable, but here we are. 

It seems like there are talks that NBA players want to finish out this season and there are at least rumblings of when we can expect the MLB campaign to begin. That’s good news and could provide at least a glimmer of when we might be able to watch our teams return to action.

And yes, Korean Baseball League is cool, but it’s going to get old fast. Maybe I’m just ungrateful. 

I’ve found myself at another wall. My emotions surrounding this life right now aren’t necessarily negative, but they’re certainly not positive either. Instead, I find myself emotionless… unable to really give a damn about one thing or another. 

There are so many things I could do. So many shows to see. So many movies to experience. So many walks to be had. So many games to play. 

Yet here I am, on my couch for another day, unable to bring myself to even collect my mail. I’ve found myself with a headache almost every day -- sometimes it throbs on the right, sometimes on the left. That’s about the most fluidity and level of uncertainty my day-to-day life contains. Everything else is set in stone. 

This dreariness is depression. Everybody is rightfully concerned about not catching the virus and protecting themselves along with keeping money flowing. Those should continue to be at the forefront of our minds. But we mustn't ignore the mental impact of these trying times… Going days, weeks and months without holding your loved ones, being unable to travel and pursuing activities that we somehow took for granted will do that to you. Add those onto the mound of worries and concerns we face, and it’s easy to break down fast. 

This is roughly the third time I’ve felt myself hit this wall since the lockdown started. Fortunately, I have something to look forward to in the near future, but not everybody does. If you feel your mental health declining, just know: you’re not alone. This isn’t forever. It’s okay to treat yourself. You are as important as anything. 

Please, continue to stay strong and stay safe. Cases in Montgomery County and Tennessee are not slowing down and, lately, have actually increased. I fear with lack of precaution we will only make this last longer than it needs to. 

If you want baseball this summer or football this fall or simply to hold your friends and family without fear, please exercise caution.

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